I don't think African parents are aware of what huge impacts their words and actions actually have on a child. That is not to say African parents way of raising their children is wrong, it is just highlighting the fact that improvements can be made here and there and hopefully this will help enlighten them.
A Nigerian proverb warns us of the effect our parents curses/insults can have on a child and how it may at times come to pass, which evidently shows how powerful our tongues are, but little did we know that ordinary words such as: advice, warnings, general talks and so on can have affects too.
Please stop teaching our young girls that nobody is going to want them again if they've had sex with more than one person. Yes, i understand that you are just trying to caution them not to open their legs for just anyone but it is also a bad lesson because it forces some young people to stay in abusive relationships.
For example, i know a girl whose mother told her this and for 2 years now she has positioned herself as Pacquiao in an apartment with her Mayweather boyfriend that she is refusing to leave because she's afraid no one would want her again.
Some might be quick to judge her for this but really and truly it is partially because of her emotional attachment, her upbringing and her lack of exposure.
I hope eventually she would learn that just because she lost her virginity to him does not mean she should stay in an unhappy relationship and does not mean no one else would want her again. She just needs to pick herself up and rebuild her life in the way she wants before even thinking about boys again and after she's done that, she needs to find herself a real man or allow a real man to find her.
As parents, it is your responsibility to understand the way in which your child learns so that you can teach them the important and valuable lessons of life. The educational system that we spend all of our childhood devoted to do not teach us these things. You are responsible for helping your child build a foundation to being smart in life (not just academic wise) and empowering them with enough tools to continue building themselves and passing on the torch to the next generation.
Please learn to tailor your words because children around you are listening. Many things contribute to a child's development and one of the major things is a child's environment which undoubtedly majorly involves the child's parents/family when growing up before expanding to the community. How else did your child just automatically learn how to speak yoruba, igbo, hausa, twi, english or whatever language they are born into? Most of the things you want your child to be able to do, the best time for them to start learning and practising it is from when they are toddlers so that they would be so familiar with it by the time they are all grown up. Physical discipline is one thing we are all aware of but scars heal, verbal discipline cuts deeper in my opinion because those words don't just heal, they keep ringing in our ears over and over again, so much so that eventually we start to believe it to be true.
Be aware of anything and everything you do or say in a child's presence because they are definitely observing and absorbing everything in their surroundings.
Please lets be careful what we teach our children!! Intentionally or unintentionally. You are one of the keys to ensuring the future is blessed with bright and talented minds.
Until next time my lovelies :* xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment